The year 2020 was quite the year. It was a time of grief and sorrow for many people but also a time where many of us took the time to reflect and slow down. It gave many of us the opportunity to work from home. It forced us to remain in our homes and spend time with our families and for some of us, to gain an understanding of what being alone felt like. For me, 2020 was a time to go inward. It forced me to spend moments where I thought deeply about who I am, who I want to be, where I want to go, even where do I fit in.
During this time, memories of my extended family kept popping into my head. Memories of my father and his huge presence not only in my life but how he affected so many people he came into contact with. Memories of my mother because even though she made her transition a few years ago, her presence is strongly felt everyday. Memories of my grandmother, my aunts, uncles, cousins, children, grandchildren would flood my thoughts and I have come to realize that the memories of these shared family experiences have helped to shape me into the person I am today. I wonder why do we value more in retrospect than we do in the moment? I cherish these memories but didn’t realize in the moment how important they would become.
Not all memories are good. I do have memories of bad times in my life but I realize the good along with the bad have molded me. There have been specific moments in time that have altered the course of my life. My father’s death being a big one. It was tough. I was heartbroken to the point where I have buried most memories of him deep within my self consciousness because of the pain. So I realize while good memories can support an individual into becoming healthy and whole, just one bad moment/memory can also alter one’s life course.
Trauma affects us all differently. The memory of one bad event can set us on a path of destruction. You may have loved someone…given your all to someone only for them to beat you, degrade you, force themselves upon you. Something may have happened to break your heart into little tiny pieces which from that moment, caused you to become a different person. The moment that trauma happened, it set your life on a path of who you were before the trauma to who you became after the trauma. It becomes a point of reference in your life.
I would like to invite you to think of another moment that set life as we know it on another course. The moment God replaced the sacrificial blood of a lamb with the blood of The Lamb. The moment Jesus shed His blood was a definitive moment for all humans because we now have hope. Hope that no matter how bad things may seem to be, there is hope that it will get better.
It takes work, hard work to overcome a traumatizing event. I would like to invite you to try to remember what your “normal” looked like. The happiness and peace that you lost can be regained. Take the steps to redefine who you are in spite of what happened.
Don’t forget who you are….remember you are a child of a living God, made in His image and you have what it takes.
